Official Obama Academy Girl Scout Cookie Power Rankings

Sam Bisno, Editor

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It’s time we address a serious matter. It’s time we answer a question that has been the source of endless debate, a question that has resulted in countless broken friendships. It’s time to decide which girl scout cookie is the best. I present the official 2017 Obama Academy Girl Scout Cookie Power Rankings. The scores are based on a survey of 50 Obama students and faculty of their favorite out of the eight most relevant types of cookie.

 

But wait! As there will no doubt be much disagreement over the final rankings, a poll has been set up so that you can voice your opinion. Click here to cast your vote.

 

  1. Toffee-Tastic: 0

Drawing up the rear is the buttery, toffee-filled, Toffee-Tastic. A newcomer to the ranks, not one of the fifty surveyed voiced this as their favorite. Despite a harsh introduction to the Girl Scout Cookie field, Toffee-Tastic will no doubt look to improve its standing in the future as the gluten-free option of the bunch.

 

  1. Savannah Smiles: 0

Tied for dead last is the lemon-oriented Savannah Smile. Unable to keep up with its chocolate competitors, the Smile scuffled along with the ‘Tastic at a whopping zero votes. Its lemony zest simply was not enough to overthrow the favorites.

 

  1. Do-si-dos: 1

The Do-si-do narrowly avoided being a third cookie in a tie for eighth place, managing to pull a whopping one vote. Despite making up 16% of all sales nationwide, the Obama population seemingly has no taste for oatmeal-peanut butter combo.

 

  1. Tagalongs: 3

In fifth place with a score of three votes is the vanilla-peanut-butter mashup known as the Tagalong. Though its performance was undoubtedly shaky, it managed to edge out over its lesser rivals and find its way to the middle of the pack.

 

  1. Trefoils: 3

Tied for fifth along with the Tagalong is the Trefoil. The traditional shortbread-style cookie drew a respectable three votes, but its inherently bland texture and monotonic taste prevented it from pulling out ahead.

 

  1. S’mores: 4

Kicking off the Big Three is the classic gooey but delicious mix: the S’more. Narrowly outdoing the Tagalong and Trefoil, it managed to win over four of our poll members thanks to its tried and true medley of chocolate, marshmallow, and graham cracker.

 

  1. Thin Mints: 16

Alas, we find ourselves at the final two. Though only one spot separates the S’more from the runner-up of the race, the Thin Mint, this crunchy, chocolate-covered wafer was able to handily attract more votes than all of its predecessors combined with an easy 16. A perennial all-star, it actually comes as a bit of a surprise that the face of the Girl Scout franchise did not sweep the whole thing.

 

  1. Samoas: 23

The only treat on this list that can boast to have bested the Thin Mint, the coconut-caramel underdog was able to pull it out in the end after a tight contest. Though a shoe-in for a top finisher, it was unsure whether or not it would be able to overthrow the king, but Obama has spoken: the Samoa is your number-one ranked Girl Scout Cookie of 2017 with an astounding 23 out of 50 votes.

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