The Obama Leek: News at its Finest

President Obama Announces Trump-Clinton Sword fight to resolve Election!

Elena Hochheiser, Writer

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Foil. Epee. Sabré. Many of us do not know the names of three three main types of fencing swords, but at this moment, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are getting closely acquainted with both of them. Last night, President Obama held his last press meeting before the election, and announced a startling fact. He said that after much debate with the picture of George Washington on his wall, he has decided the presidential nominees will fight to see who will become the 45th president of the United States.

After hearing of the swordfight, which is planned to occur on the White House roof Tuesday afternoon, many believe that it could actually become a viable option for ending this long and tiresome campaign. “Never before have I seen a campaign this ridiculous,” said a local fencing expert. “I think that a [sword] fight will be the perfect way to end it.” Many others agree. Trump supporters have come out in support of President Obama’s decree, saying that if the swordfight actually was to happen, it at least “Wouldn’t be rigged”. Not surprisingly, the republican candidate has already boasted about how he’s “going to win”.

 

On the Clinton front, however, supporters are not remaining as positive. Many believe that the fight would be unfair, and that Trump would have an advantage over Clinton due to his size. The candidate herself has spoken out in rage, scorning Obama for his “terrible” idea, and has spoken about the threat to American democracy that a sword fight poses.

 

So, with four days left until the sword fight, American voters must think wisely and support their candidate of choice. Who will the winner be? We do not know. But for sure, the fight on Tuesday will be one remembered for all of history.

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