The Obama LEEK: PWSA, PPS Collaborate to provide water

Liam Bates, Writer

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The Pittsburgh Water and Sewer Authority has decided to collaborate with our school science department to provide the city with fresh and clean water. Unfortunately, the agency would not give any more information (which is still more information that they usually give, so it’s a win!). “We want to give the students an opportunity to help the city out. For free! The students absolutely LOVE our ‘Pittsburgh’s Finest Water’” Mayor Bill Peduto was quoted as saying. The city figures that, since some students have learned the properties of water and cell structure, they know more about water than the people who actually work at PWSA.

 

Don’t worry! Spaces are still available for anyone who wants to participate in the non-descript program. All you have to do is drink straight from the drinking fountain, and then next thing you know, someone will meet you in the hospital. After that, welcome to the program!

 

UPDATE:

PWSA has informed us that the students will be bottling PWSA emergency water. They will not be washing their hands and will be adding a metallic flavor to every bottle.

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