Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar Disorder

Amanda Rose Jones, Editor

A disorder that is associated with mood swings,

and occasional bouts of depression.

A disorder that has ran all throughout my family,

Skipped three generations,

And then decided to stick it’s claws of uncertainty and paranoia into my system.

What is me and what is my disorder.

Are the actions I take everyday myself in sound mind,

Or are they the disorder taking hold of me.

Was it I who spoke out in class?

Or an eternal sickness that decided it wanted to be front and center today.

Who am I.

Am I the person I always thought I was?

Or am I instead the counter-affects of an illness that has fooled so many others in history.

Have I been living my life as freely as I thought,

Or have I been instead living as a disorder wanted me to?

Was my last bout of sadness a side effect?

Was it the depression doctors told me would come?

Or was it just a passing feeling,

Hormones making their way through.

And was that last mood swing natural?

Or was it my illness sticking its talons into my actions,

And lashing out on the ones who care about me the most?

What is me,

And what isn’t.

What is my illness,

And what isn’t.

Just who am I?

Am I who I think I am?

Or am I instead the aftereffect of a disorder that always gets it way.

Bipolar disorder.

Am I me?

Or am I you?